Movies I enjoy with my 5 year old daughter…

To echo Jasmine’s post, I also wanted to share a few favorite movies that I watch with my daughter. She’s on a Mario and My Little Pony kick lately, but those are mostly for her ‘alone time’ and are television shows and not movies. By the way, has anyone seen those new ponies? They aren’t awful actually, but a lot more anime inspired than those I grew up with in the 80’s. Care Bears have been revived also, which is kind of interesting.

1) I second Jasmine’s Wall.E.
This movie is fantastic and I enjoy it absolutely every time. There’s something so incredibly charming about WALL-E and Eve and their ‘relationship’. The story has a wonderful message about not being a lazy moron and thinking everyone else will clean up your mess as well. Sasha also has the Leapster WALL-E game, and I highly recommend it. There’s all sorts of levels and games that she really enjoys and it’s kept her busy on road trips.

2) Madagascar This movie is just so funny, it has it’s adult moments and really gets to the nitty gritty. Also, who doesn’t love those crazy lemurs? I also personally enjoy watching the cartoon of the Penguins of Madagascar with her too. It’s just a funny show with great characters.

3) The Little Mermaid This movie brings me straight back to my childhood as the quintessential Disney ‘Princess’ movie of my generation. I remember being so in love with Ariel that I feel it’s so special that Sasha loves it too. Plus, it has the added motivation of Ursula getting hers and being able to tell my daughter that sometimes, mean folks get it in the end. Reality.

4) Fantasia
As a family that loves music, I thought this would be a super fun purchase. There’s nothing quite like Mickey playing with the Wizard’s broom. It’s just so fantastical, and keeps your attention of the visual imagery. Fantasia is like being in a dream rather than in reality and I love that. We actually watched both Fantasia and Fantasia 2000 as a family in bluray and really enjoyed every moment.

5) The Wizard of Oz
Another favorite of mine as a child. I remember waiting each year for the night they’d show it on cable, and hunkering down in front of the television, also getting to maybe stay up late. I’ve recently been able to share this and enjoy it with my daughter, who also gets much glee of frowning that the Wicked Witch, singing along with the tunes as I do. One of the few movies, I believe, that is better than the book.

So what have I learned from this post? I’m pretty nostalgic!

-Melissa

Movies I enjoy with my four year old son: Jasmine

At the end of the week – or the end of the weekend – one of my favourite things to do is kick back with a movie. Adventurous, I know.

To be honest, more often than not I’d prefer to do it on my own and enjoy a bit of a) me time, and b) adult time. As a single mum, I’m often starved of adult interaction, and the next best thing to a grown-up conversation is a grown-up movie. With real grown-ups, discussing grown-up things.

Sadly, that doesn’t happen half as often as I’d like it to. My little guy is a night owl. Given his own way, he’d happily stay up til midnight and sleep til midday. If he sees me settling in to watch a movie around the 8.30pm mark, I’ve either got to settle for him sitting down with me – or try and ignore the screaming and banging coming from his bedroom as I attempt to enjoy my movie on my own.

Typically I compromise by settling down around 7.30pm with a child-friendly movie (and if I’m up for it, I might try and watch my own movie afterwards).

Here’s five of my favourite movies to sit back and enjoy with my little man.

1. Up
I FREAKING LOVE THIS. To the point that I hide the DVD away with my own collection to prevent the little guy watching it ad nauseum. I just don’t want it to become another of those movies I know word for word or take for granted when it’s on. It’s just such a lovely, moving, hilarious movie, and watching it always takes me back to the first summer I saw it. In fact I still think of it as a summer classic to be enjoyed just as the sun is going down, and enjoyed while sharing ice cream.

2. Wall.E
Again, LOVE THIS SO MUCH, for all the reasons listed above: lovely, moving, hilarious, and takes me back to the first summer I saw it. I pretty much watch this the same way, too (right down to the DVD being stashed in my collection). I especially love how there’s so little conflict in this film, it’s just a good clean adventure with a message about the environment. To be honest, when it comes to children’s movies, I really dislike too much conflict (I hated Shrek 2 because of all the tension between Shrek and Fiona! True story!).

3. The Princess and the Frog
There’s probably a bit of a Disney/Pixar theme happening here, but what did you expect when I said children’s movies? This really is a return to classic Disney form, and I hope in a couple of year’s time we’ll have another story like it: classic Disney animation, fantastic and enjoyable tunes, wonderful and hilarious characters (my favourite in this is Raymond). The spirit creatures in this are wonderfully Tim Burtonesque, enough to make my son huddle under his blanket, but not enough that he freaks the hell out (which was his response to Corpse Bride).

4. Kung Fu Panda
Like all the movies I enjoy watching with my lil guy, I try to keep this one from being over-played, so it’s a bit more special when we sit down and watch it together. In a lot of ways I don’t necessarily see this as being a children’s movie; if this were a live action movie and the voice-actors were all just playing human characters, it would totally work on the same level of something like, say, Pirates of the Caribbean (which is actually another movie we sometimes enjoy together, but he typically gets bored half way through). But seeing as it’s a bunch of goofy animals and it is animated, little man loves it too.

5. How to Train your Dragon
The dragon’s in this are just so engaging! I’m pretty sure that’s what I enjoy the most about this movie – the dragons, and the relationship built between Toothless and Hiccup. I like to think there’s a message in there about developing a relationship between your kid and … I don’t know, that vicious kitten you picked up from the shelter.

Something to chew on…

Thoughts on Amy Winehouse, addiction and humor

So, I posted this on my facebook upon hearing of the untimely death of Amy Winehouse:

Dear Amy Winehouse, this is what happens when they tell you to go to rehab and then you say ‘no, no, no’.

In all seriousness, what a waste. She had a lovely voice, even if I wasn’t really into her music. Welcome to the 27 club, doll.

For those that may not know what the ’27 Club’ is, it’s the slang term for a the group of artists that all passed away at the age of 27 and includes Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain and Hendrix among others:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/27_Club

I wanted to expand on my thoughts here.

I wasn’t just making some cruel joke off the cuff, although part of me wants to simply say to the naysayers ‘too soon?’ and snark it even further.  It literally was the first thing that popped into my head.  Maybe that isn’t nice.  Maybe I’m not nice when it comes to people like Amy Winehouse.

The irony is just overwhelming for this situation.  Amy Winehouse gained her fame for a song that spit in the face of those trying to help those they love with serious addiction problems.  She gained her fame on making it trendy for kids that are out of control to say ‘I’m fine, I have this under control’.  She had an awareness of her issue that many do not, in my opinion, and leveraged it to become a famous train wreck.

I was turned off as soon as I heard ‘Rehab’.  It was my first exposure to Amy Winehouse as an artist.  I don’t find anything cute about laughing off addiction.  I find it even less cute to make fun of those that are trying to help you.  Amy Winehouse did both these things in her hit song.

The fact that she then spun down the rabbit hole of addition IS sad.  However, I simply do not believe that those that truly want to get well cannot get well.

I don’t believe it from having an alcoholic stepfather.
I don’t believe it from having a close family friend doing jail time for falling down the rabbit hole of meth addiction.
I don’t believe it from having a high school friend die from heroin addiction/overdose.

People CAN get better.  They have to WANT to get better.  Nothing anyone can make them do the work if they don’t want to do it themselves.  Those of us around those people suffer waiting for them to make that choice.

I am immensely proud EVERY DAY of my stepfather.

I am proud of our friend, who is trying EVERY DAY to make himself better, and in the most awful of situations.  He paying for actions while on drugs to the point where he was the furthest being from himself he could be.  We support him and are looking forward to watching him rebuild his life.

I am saddened all the time about my friend who passed away.  I never had the chance to reconnect with her after years of being out of touch.  I found out of her death and it’s shaken me in a way few things can.  I am sad in a way that nothing else makes me sad.  I am angry at her for thinking she could control such a vice.  I am disappointed in her for foiling her life and her future and ruining the beautiful being she was.  It’s been a few years and I still think about her probably a few times a week.  I’m not sure if she’ll ever leave.  I feel like we were unfinished as friends, we had great things ahead someday.  Together.

When addicts don’t make the choice to stay clean,  eventually they die.  It’s simple.  People with addictions die EVERY DAY.  When they let the addiction WIN, they DIE.   Amy Winehouse isn’t a unique snowflake.

That’s what this boils down to folks!   She decided that drugs and booze were more important than her life.  The drugs and booze won.  Even if she didn’t OD, that little body couldn’t take anymore of her nonsense.  She had ample resources that most don’t have to help her.

I believe that as friends and family of those with addictions, we CAN NOT give the addict a free pass that they aren’t strong enough to fight the disease.  I’m sorry, but that just allows them to have another excuse that they can’t get better.  The human being is stronger than anyone can ever imagine.  It’s about will.  It’s about want.  It’s about change.  These things ARE possible.  Belief in anything else is allowing the person with addictive behavior to continue their behavior and believe otherwise.  It’s fatal.  I truly feel that if there is a time to put up or shut up, it’s in talking feelings with those having addictions.   If they can’t take the heat, then you must let them go for your own sake.  You cannot change a person or make them get better.  They have to want it.  Amy Winehouse chose her lifestyle over her life.  Very important distinction there.

Here’s a better way to put it: what would happen if all the drugs in the world vanished?  Those with addictions would be forced to get over them and/or find other addictions.  The majority would NOT die from kicking the habit.  They’d live on and change their lives.  They would be forced to change.

Her death isn’t tragic IMO.  If it makes ONE of her fans re-access the idea that they may have a problem and they don’t want to burn out like her, then that’s the best thing that can come of it.
Kids shouldn’t want to be Amy Winehouse.

-Melissa

Swimming isn’t just for summer …

I was amused to read Melissa’s last post about the hot weather (46 degrees IS scorching!) and swimming. We’re having the opposite sort of weather here in Melbourne … as one might expect on the other side of the world, as it were. We’ve had a pretty average winter so far, but the last couple of weeks the temperatures have dropped and it has been overcast and gloomy with a very, very crisp breeze.

So how are we (‘we’ being myself and my other single mum friend) entertaining the kids? Taking them to the pool, of course! A heated, indoor pool, to be precise. I’ve never done this before and wouldn’t have thought of it myself, but said friend mentioned there was a heated indoor pool at her local gym, and it’s open to the public. Knowing my little guy LOVES the water and doesn’t give a damn about weather-appropriate activities, I agreed to give it a go, and we spent a few hours supporting our respective boys in the water (in keeping with the theme of disregarding weather appropriateness, the boys both had an ice cream afterwards). I’m not a huge swimmer myself, but it was admittedly nice to get into this heated water and just have a splash and know the kids were doing something different and fun.

We’ll be back again this weekend – I can’t think of too many cold-weather activities that can be enjoyed over several hours for less than $4 per person.

xx Jas

Dog days of Summer

Here in Minnesota, it’s Summer.  This week is supposed to be a scorcher, with a heat index tomorrow of a possible 115 degrees F (46.111 degrees C according to my temperature converter)!  All week temps are supposed to hover in the high 90’s with a ton of humidity.

We’ve been spending a lot of time in our 10 ft (approx. 3 meter) pop up pool, nothing special, but enough to float in.  We’re trying to inspire Sasha to enjoy the concept of getting her face wet.  I’m probably not a lot of help in this regard, as, even though I try my best to stay positive, I’m not much of a swimmer.

I’m just not buoyant.  And before you tell me that’s a bunch of hogwash, my swimming teacher in middle school was just as confused.  When I try to tread water minus flippers, my butt flips over my head.  Not a joke.  Yes, that’s a lovely image, isn’t it?

Anyway, point is, it’s damn hot around here.  So tomorrow, I’ll be working on projects indoors, even though with our limited Summer, I’d love to be outdoors.

I’ve also managed to grow myself a TON of lettuce in my garden (I can’t give enough away), have carrots ripening (they’ll take awhile), three tomato plants maturing tomatoes, and a row of lovely sunflowers growing.  I already harvested the row of radishes because they were forcing themselves out.  Found a bunch of baby sunflowers that showed up in my garden as well, thanks to a chipmunk.  I thinned them down to just a few to fill the gaps said chipmunk created by breaking a few early on.

My State government decided to pursue, what I think, is a pretty shitty compromise, but in the end it’s going to get us back up and running again.  So, hopefully by Tuesday we’ll have folks back to work that have been sitting for the last couple weeks.  I see why they’ve done it, but I’m hoping for a slew of independent candidates at next election.  The party system is just too messed up and divisive at this point for my tastes as a moderate voter…

Here’s a link for those interested:  http://www.kare11.com/news/article/930283/14/Budget-deal-no-solution-to-long-term-money-woes

-Melissa

Jasmine says hi!

I’m Jasmine! I’m a 29 year old woman from Melbourne, Australia. I juggle a handful of loose hobbies and interests; freelance writing, pinup couture and Vargas Girls, burlesque, armchair activism, explorations of sexuality and female empowerment (I HATE that word but I think it’s a neat catchall for a range of things covering self love, body acceptance, and educating women and children on how to tell a ‘real woman’ from the airbrushed products found in the media).

I’m also a single mother to a four year old young man who is far too handsome for his own good. I have a bit of a ‘thing’ against being pigeon-holed as nothing more than a mother. I’m so much more than that. Nothing aggravates me more than being referred to as ‘Jnr’s mummy’.

As Melissa mentioned below, we’ve started this blog primarily as we both love blogging, but were too lazy to start it up individually. Ha! That aside, we liked the parallels and differences – or echoes and mirrors – between our respective lives. Melissa has a girl, I have a boy. Melissa has a partner, I’m a single mum. America, Australia. Despite the differences, we’re still two strong minded women who’ve followed and taken an interest in each other’s lives (albeit from afar) and get along well enough that we thought we’d give this blogging shenanigan a go together.

I have no photo of me right now, but I’ll remedy that shortly, promise!

So I’m supposing that we need an introduction…

Hello world.  Well, world of WordPress, anyway.  Still figuring this place out, getting comfortable on the WordPress couch as it is.

So let’s see.

I’m Melissa.

I live in Minnesota.  A State which is currently engaged in a Government shutdown which I am enraged by.

I’m engaged to be married in November.  My fiance (Scott) ad I have a 5 year old daughter, Sasha.  We’ve been engaged longer than she’s been on this lovely world, so, a long time.   I’m excited to be getting married, but certainly not in the traditional sense.
I love to read, write, take photographs, talk and enjoy all sorts of music.

Jasmine (who you’ll meet soon) and I decided to start this blog because we live across the world, so to speak, and are both outspoken ladies who have completely different life experiences.

Welcome to our blogging journey.

-Melissa